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terça-feira, 29 de junho de 2021

The Library of Crazy Things - part 2

Fortunately, I could leave the room and be free of his voice. On the way to the front desk, I came across Sir Reginald, doing his round and moving things out of place. 

Me: Again whit this “thing”, Sir? 

Sir Reginald: Like a told you before Cassandra, the best way to organize a Library is putting things in the wrong place! The fun is in the treasure hunt, the journey, not the destination! You will thank me for that one day! 

Me: NO, I WON’T! You realize that every time you do this, I have to redo your work? You make me work double, always double, IT’S NOT FUN!

Sir Reginald: For me it is! Hahahahaha

Me: I hate you, Sir!

Out loud I blame Sir Reginald for the mess, but in fact, he doesn’t do anything, is the library which does. Nothing will be found in the place that was supposed to be, EVER, to find something you must not look for it, it is like flying, quoting the guide You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else then you're halfway there”, lucky for us, the library provides a lot of distractions, like the wall of Cthulhu. Most of the time he is sleeping, always tired and grumpy, like a good, old, ancient God. But it’s funny to watch, sometimes he grabs his teddy bear and is really comfy and happy, the problem is, that is the real Teddy, and he doesn't like it so much, but appreciate not being killed, and things like that.

Me (whispering): Hi Teddy! How you doin’? Felling cozy and warm?

Teddy: Hi Cassandra! Yes, I'm fine, thanks, he is a bit lonely this week, his pet had to leave for a few days, something in Japan I think, but he will be back soon, today if I’m not mistaken.

Me: Good, ‘cause I need you help to organize the room for our new guest, he finally decided to stay with us, was felling alone in the center of the earth.

Teddy: Oh, lovely, Kong in a sweet fella, love him!

A bell is heard and Cthulhu woke up and went to welcome his pet.

Me: Hi Zilla! How was the trip?

Godzilla: Hi Cassandra! Everything ended well, just another silly human woke up an ancient monster, you know, the usual!

Me: I see! This is becoming I real problem, someday Tutu will be full of it, and end the mankind for sure!

Godzilla: Nah, he doesn’t admit, but he likes them, they are the only ones who worship him. I really don’t know why, they’re something else! Oh, sorry, I forgot you are a human too.

Me: Oh, it’s ok, I can see all the bad things in the world, can’t disagree.

Cthulhu had returned to his bed and was calling for Zilla to be with him, who promptly answered his call. Teddy was finally able to leave the wall and headed towards Kong’s room, eager to organize everything.

The Library of Crazy Things - part 1

   work in a libraryand we always have interesting people walking around. Every monday we host a meeting with some kids from the neighborhood and they often ask incredible questions.

Kid:  Excuse me ma'am, do you have a book about Schrödinger's cat and Pavlov's dog? 

Me:  It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's here or not. 

Sir Reginald:  For God’s sake Cassandra, this joke is so out of date, please, behave yourself! 

Me:  Sorry Sir. 

      The kid was shocked and stared at me in panic. 

Kid:  Uh, you know that you have an elephant in the room, and that it just talked to you? 

      This question made a few eyebrows raise in the room. 

Me: Of course, HE is Sir Reginald, the owner of this library, and if you need anything just ask him, because, you know, they never forget, ever.

Kid:  Dammitand I thought this was a normal library, I knew that was too good to be true. 

   The kid stormed out of the room after that, never waiting for me to check if we had the books that he asked for. And of course, we have, we have all the books in the world, you see, our library is a magical one (I think you realize that when Sir Reginald appears, but I had to make it clear, who knows, your library could have an elephant in the room too.) Well, like I was saying, our library is a magical one, we have anything you might need, and when I say anything, IS ANYTHING. If you need a Dodô to show in your class, we have one, but like all magical things, there is an issue. Our Dodô is an arrogant moron, who likes to annunciate his presence whit a loud and awful anthem, in a totally off-key voice. 

New group of kids arrive to the library. 

Leader of the group:  Ma’am, we hear that you have a Dodô, we wonder if we could see him? 

Me:  I don’t think is a good idea folks

Kids (together):  Pleaase!?!!

Me:  Ok, ok. But don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Come with me!

As we enter his habitat, Go-go the Dodô (he chose his name, not my fault, but I think he likes Wham!) starts to sing.

"Go-go the Dodô, Go-go the Dodô 
From Madagascar to the world 
I’m the King, and Julius is an impostor
Go-go the Dodô, Go-go the Dodô 

No rhythm, no tuning, just awful. 

Me: I TOLD YOU, HIS NAME IS JULIAN, NOT JULIUS!

Dodô: WHO CARES, HE IS AN IMPOSTOR ANYWAY!! I’M THE KING OF MADAGASCAR!!!

And he started singing again. All the kids run away in the first verse and no one, except me, was left there to endure him. Most of the time, mainly when I have to clean his room (because he behaves like a teenager, and leaves the place a mess, he is competing whit Groot, but that is another story) I wear ear plugs, this is the only way to stay in that place for more than one minute.


Reativando a criatividade

Boas vindas aos que decidiram entrar aqui!! 

Antes de mais nada, sim, isso é um blog, sou velha, aceitem! 

            Depois de muito tempo resolvi reativar esse blog para postar coisas que tenho escrito, pequenas histórias e contos produzidos aleatoriamente. Será tratado apenas como uma forma mais organizada de publicar já que tive muitas respostas positivas sobre meus textos. (Como já faz tempo que não lido com esse blog, depois vou tratar de dar um up no visual.) Agradeço aqui principalmente a maravilhosa Dani Diniz (pra quem não conhece é uma professora das ótimas, indico demais!!) pelo "empurrão", já que essa primeira história surgiu de um exercício de nossas aulas, e por isso está em inglês, como ainda está em construção será postada aos pedaços. Espero que se divirtam lendo do mesmo modo que me divirto escrevendo! Boa leitura!!




              A Anciã do Clã das Pandas Ninjas do Ninho dos 5 Gatos Sonolentos* está de volta!!


*Título recebido de Morgan, que foi mais do que aceito e será carinhosamente usado!!

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