The Library of Crazy Things - part 1

   I work in a library, and we always have interesting people walking around. Every monday we host a meeting with some kids from the neighborhood and they often ask incredible questions.

Kid:  Excuse me ma'am, do you have a book about Schrödinger's cat and Pavlov's dog? 

Me:  It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's here or not. 

Sir Reginald:  For God’s sake Cassandra, this joke is so out of date, please, behave yourself! 

Me:  Sorry Sir. 

      The kid was shocked and stared at me in panic. 

Kid:  Uh, you know that you have an elephant in the room, and that it just talked to you? 

      This question made a few eyebrows raise in the room. 

Me: Of course, HE is Sir Reginald, the owner of this library, and if you need anything just ask him, because, you know, they never forget, ever.

Kid:  Dammit, and I thought this was a normal library, I knew that was too good to be true. 

   The kid stormed out of the room after that, never waiting for me to check if we had the books that he asked for. And of course, we have, we have all the books in the world, you see, our library is a magical one (I think you realize that when Sir Reginald appears, but I had to make it clear, who knows, your library could have an elephant in the room too.) Well, like I was saying, our library is a magical one, we have anything you might need, and when I say anything, IS ANYTHING. If you need a Dodô to show in your class, we have one, but like all magical things, there is an issue. Our Dodô is an arrogant moron, who likes to annunciate his presence whit a loud and awful anthem, in a totally off-key voice. 

New group of kids arrive to the library. 

Leader of the group:  Ma’am, we hear that you have a Dodô, we wonder if we could see him? 

Me:  I don’t think is a good idea folks

Kids (together):  Pleaase!?!!

Me:  Ok, ok. But don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Come with me!

As we enter his habitat, Go-go the Dodô (he chose his name, not my fault, but I think he likes Wham!) starts to sing.

"Go-go the Dodô, Go-go the Dodô 

From Madagascar to the world 

I’m the King, and Julius is an impostor

Go-go the Dodô, Go-go the Dodô” 

No rhythm, no tuning, just awful. 

Me: I TOLD YOU, HIS NAME IS JULIAN, NOT JULIUS!

Dodô: WHO CARES, HE IS AN IMPOSTOR ANYWAY!! I’M THE KING OF MADAGASCAR!!!

And he started singing again. All the kids run away in the first verse and no one, except me, was left there to endure him. Most of the time, mainly when I have to clean his room (because he behaves like a teenager, and leaves the place a mess, he is competing whit Groot, but that is another story) I wear ear plugs, this is the only way to stay in that place for more than one minute.